86 days since

Originally posted in tumblr.
Date: April 12, 2016

So 86 days huh? 86 days of me thinking MORE lately. When walking, riding a bus, washing the dishes or other me times. Oh what you do to me? Here are just a few…

1.I sent you a friend request on Facebook – but because u asked me to and (fine) I was curious.

[What am I talking about?] Well I and my friends attended  a Mardi Gras – and party’d til dawn and there I met you. We talked for less than 5 minutes…less than 5 fre@kin’ minutes nothing compared to 8 months – another story – and that’s how u gave me your name – your social media name – which I learned later on. We had a picture taken by my friend. It was actually a random night and by that I mean I have lots of pictures with people I don’t know because that’s what always took place in the said annual event, it became normal over the years.

Anyways, you didn’t accept me immediately. I waited for hours (I think). I told my friends of how’s it going and so I came up with a plan. I cancelled the request, changed my dp, re-posted the photo of us and set it to public then sent request again.Accepted!

I didn’t know who you were, I’ve no idea what you do, where you live, who your friends are but I just liked you. How? Because of your posts maybe. It was mature and not what you’ll expect from a person who’s exposed to Y.O.L.O or maybe it’s the other side of you. 

The rational part in me and of the others not involved said stop✋ because how can you assess a person just by his posts, right? (Point taken.) But I have a gut feeling too that you are what you post..Ugh!

2.I initiated the first message. IDGAF what others would say as long as I was doing it with my friends’ consent and support. They encouraged me. Spoiled am I? hihi.. But before you judge me I want you guys to know that it was my first…my first to do the first move. Get me? Go figure. 😁 It was a SUCCESS, you replied. I’m acing this! 

I updated my squad of the progress. They were like watching a series waiting for the next episode and I, the ever hyped blabber, can’t stop talking about it either to the point where I have to tell my other circle of friends because they ought to know (or so I feel).

The exchange of messages went on though you respond after half a day or so and every time you do you make me think of a reply that even an ‘okay’ would suffice but NO I won’t do that, I don’t want the conversation to be over.

Days passed and you’d be posting status updates and I would have a fight with myself whether to like 👍 it or not because I’m overthinking that you would notice me and find it creepy strolling on your timeline.(Sigh*)

3.I edited the caption of our picture several times until I had the courage to ask to tag you in it and you permitted me.

4.I tried to comfort you. I sent another message out of the blue when I read about your troubles and that’s how we had an instant but short 3 a.m convo. I wasn’t expecting any replies really. I just want you to know what my thoughts were and want to be honest with what I feel. I told you NOT the typical “it’s gonna be okay” but instead said “YOU’LL GET BY” along with my confession that I liked you and your views in life. You were just amazing. (And to you I was awesome – your words! PLUS what made me even happier was when you asked me if you could screenshot the first lines I sent.😍. Glad to be absent from work that night. )

5.I became a poet. I only do when I’m emotional. I have a piece for us or rather for me and my feelings. I’m even making a tumblr post for you now.

6.My being cryptic had gotten worse. Haha. Yeah I hid between the punch lines, in the half-meant comments and in the pabebe demeanor. And one more, since I was still latching onto you I dared ask if I can pop anytime in your inbox which you gladly agreed.( I was actually afraid that you’ll find me annoying bec. if I were you I would be).

📌If you happen to be stalking me too – out of your curiosity – I’d be glad if you tell me to quit it so I can move on.

7.I played the game CHOOSE A NUMBER AND I’LL ANSWER IT HONESTLY. I don’t normally do things like that on Facebook but I want to challenge myself if I can. My friends chose “WHO’S YOUR CRUSH?” though they already knew – bully friends – but true to my word I answered them and end up dropping you a pm asking for permission if I can mention your name. It wasn’t actually necessary but I just feel like I have to. Anyways, kind of you to reply and say yes for the nth time. (Don’t know if it was out of respect or it’s just the way you are.) I went out after I gave them the answer they were expecting and didn’t open Facebook until I got back home. I see you responded to my friends’ shenanigans. Thank you! 🙂

8.So there, you already know – referring to my admittance – but I’m not yet done with the things you do to me.This one is typical I CAN’T HELP BUT OVER ANALYZE your likes, haha, love reaction, dropped comments, the birthday greeting, relevant posts like when I share something then later on you do too which seems to be a response of my update…another thing too, if I use an expression in one of my stats or comments section I also see it on yours later on. Well I guess everyone with a crush does that, I mean we try to relate to almost everything when in fact it’s just coincidence.

9.Almost done. I know you’re a busy person because like I said in #1 you’re living a Y.O.L.O life but I’m amaze by how you can juggle business and still manage to go out with friends. Anyhooo! I kept checking your timeline and I’ve been a witness of the growth of your followers and I GET JEALOUS every time there’s an addition because it means you’re out and about. I used to be a little insecure of the people around you because they’re like this and like that but I position myself better or try to. HA!

10.Finally! So I’m currently in Dubai and it’s been 86 days and a lot has happened and you’re leaving the country (Philippines) soon too that’s if you wouldn’t change your mind. I hope to meet you another time but for now I’ll see what I can do. When I don’t see you online you make me think of so many things like what you’re doing, who’s with you, is it business related, are you seeing someone, are you okay, etc. etc…or if I’m not online or liking your posts do you think of me too. You’ve been striving so much (even up to now) that I tell myself I CAN’T KEEP UP but I’ll try harder. I will find my lost self-confidence and I’ll take it from there but at least give me a concrete sign if you’re considering me or otherwise.


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